One thing you can count on is that Filipino girls will want to send money back to family members in the Philippines. Whenever her close relatives in the Philippines ask her for money, they will almost surely get it from her.
|Photo by Haundreis|
Her loved ones back home are scheming a lot of times. My wife Aileen’s brother bought a house in the Philippines for himself and his daughter, and Aileen’s family sent him several nice-sized chunks of money. It was supposed to be for house remodeling and repair. But, years later, when we all went to visit him and his house, guess what, the house was not improved at all.
Even more to the point, Aileen’s nephew hit her up personally for $600 so he could fly to Singapore and go on a couple of job interviews. I was pretty mad when a month later the money was gone and he started his job in Manila. He used the money so he and his wife could enjoy a vacation in Singapore!
You may get mad at her for being so foolish as to send money down a sinkhole. The way she acts when your Filipino girl asks you - she seems naive and almost childlike. And it’s so obvious to you that it’s a scam. The way she tells you that somebody back home needs money for “school” or “medical bills” makes you laugh because you can’t believe she’s falling for those lines of bull. But believe me, she knows even better than you about the schemes.
While she lived in the Philippines, she saw her family and friends constantly hit up their family abroad for money, or she even did it herself. She acts naive and tells you their sob stories not because she believes it, but she needs to get the money sent. She has almost no choice. She has to send money. If not, her head will explode. If you tell her no way, she may say it’s OK, but it’s not. It will eat her up inside that she can’t send money. Her family, both here and abroad, will give her hell about it, too. Her sending money back to the Philippines is almost non-negotiable. She has to do it.
So, how to deal with this? I know it may be very foreign to many American men to keep sending their hard-earned money to beggars. But if you want to keep the girl, you will compromise here and give what you can. It’s cheap compared to the quarrels and the breakup and the divorce. Be prepared. When she finally brings it up, you can be totally positive about it without any arguing, and she will love you for it.
You don’t have to send what they ask for. Try to negotiate. If they ask for $300 a month, send $100. For one, they try to highball what they need. Secondly, many native Filipinos just don’t understand or believe what the cost structure is in America. They think we make a “ton” of money, which we certainly do compared to their economy. But as we both know, everything here is way more expensive than in the Philippines; most of our paycheck goes out the door. It’s like trying to understand someone who makes ten times what you make, yet has no savings. It may seem inconceivable that someone could spend so much money.
It can actually feel good to give; the trick is to give, then let it go. Don’t worry what the money is actually used for or where it goes. Score some karma points; give and let go. Then take your Filipino girl into the bedroom.
Monday, June 8th, 2009